KEN REID COUNSELLING
WRITTEN REVIEWS
KRISTIE T
Overcoming intergenerational trauma and being able to set boundaries.
When I came to Ken, I was going through a transitional period in my life and while putting myself first was a no-brainer and something I thought I’ve done fairly well up until that point, I really struggled managing my interpersonal relationships. I remember telling Ken - ‘I feel like I have boundary issues’ and truly made it a part of my identity. For a brief moment, he believed me until he realized and shared with me “ I don’t think you have boundary issues.” I was so taken aback. During our coaching calls, he listened intently and provided feedback thoroughly so that I felt challenged and supported at the same time. Ken created space for me to understand that my boundaries were very clear, to me at least. I just had a difficult time sharing my boundaries because I had these internalized distorted beliefs that my boundaries were other people’s responsibilities. How could I not? Growing up as a woman in a patriarchal Chinese family, I’ve learned to shy away from having needs because they weren’t met anyway, at least not relationally, so setting boundaries with other people just felt imposing. Ken utilized an intersectional lens to help me bring awareness to recurring patterns of trauma bonding that originated from my family of origin and resulted in now enmeshed adult relationships because I have learned to turn my very clear boundaries to self-sacrificing preferences to meet the needs of others. He’s made himself available to me outside of our scheduled coaching calls and truly cared about my well-being. In between sessions, he provided daily journal stems for me to reflect on and was/still is amazing at holding me accountable to my intentions/goals without being forceful. It was also during these in-between sessions where he helped me understand that the solo activities that I’ve historically engaged in to ‘put myself first’ were really just a bunch of distractions disguised as ‘self-care’ and ‘accolades’ to not practice self-advocacy in interpersonal relationships. I’ve honestly learned more about myself in these 8 weeks with Ken than I’ve had in 8 years of personal therapy. I deeply value the time we’ve spent together and the progress he’s helped me make in my life. I’m beyond grateful to have Ken’s support and I can’t recommend him highly enough!
DAVID A
Overcoming heartbreak to being ready to date again.
I started working with Ken 2 months ago. Back then I was feeling pretty bad, I was constantly thinking about my ex and I couldn't get rid of the memories (this was my big struggle). We discussed some of the things I could do to make me feel better such as unfollowing my ex on social media, unfollowing mutual friends, deleting the pictures of me and my ex. staying away from songs that reminded me of him and taking my ex off the pedestal. Ken also suggested journaling which was really helpful for me because it really helped me to organise all my thoughts and all of what was going on in my head. But the most important thing that I learned from Ken is that it's ok not to be suddenly over my ex. Today, you can feel nothing for your ex, and then tomorrow you can miss them and it's totally ok even if you miss them for just one day. Just because you missed them one day does not mean that you lost all of the progress you have made and that you should never put pressure on yourself to get over someone quickly. Every healing process has its ups and downs and that's totally fine. All I got to say about Ken is that he's understanding, kind, and really gets what you're going through. I see he is really passionate about all he does and I'd totally recommend him.
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RYO M
From being ruled by anxiety to befriending his anxiety in dating to speak up and attract a boyfriend.
Before I worked with Ken, I was feeling aimless, I was single and had a lot of general anxiety. Now, I'm in a relationship where I feel more confident in managing my anxiety, as I am made aware to look out for what causes me anxiety and how I can look at it from a different perspective, so as to manage it. It was a joy having to be coached by ken, as he is empathetic, attentive, and dedicated. Ken has a knack for finding out what is the root cause of my issues, even when I am not sure of it myself, or was not able to express the idea of it clearly; with this, he works with me on how I can better manage the issues. Furthermore, as Ken is so approachable, I have never felt worried about sharing what has been troubling me and what issues I have been facing; and he is always ready to listen. Through the course, he has helped me to rethink and reshape my perspective on values and other notions, such as kindness, which I have struggled with a lot. Ken has also helped to shed light on what I want for myself and for me to work on them. I have been through other counseling and therapy sessions, but I have never felt so supported and encouraged, as with Ken.
ADAM B
From being unsure as to whom he is to gaining greater clarity about his authentic self.
I’d just come out of a long-term relationship. I went into this hoping to gain an understanding of who I was and to improve my self-esteem and self-confidence for myself. What we covered helped me feel good about myself and understand that I have everything I need and want inside me already! Ken listens. He understands what you’re saying. This isn’t about helping you find the perfect person, it’s about learning that you are the perfect person for you! Right here, right now."
ANONYMOUS
From feeling overwhelmed in their relationships to feeling more clarity.
I've been through 5 different therapists (who came highly recommended) and was close to giving up, just because no one was able to help me. I was in a really dark place and feeling incredibly helpless. I'd discovered Ken through social media and his topics were relevant to what I have been going through, and thought to give this one last try. From the very first session I felt I finally found someone who understood me and who asked specific and targeted questions to really get to the root of what I was experiencing. I found I didn't need to explain what I was thinking too much, Ken had a way of just getting it. It felt like that big messy ball of string in my head was finally being untangled, and in doing that, Ken also helped me understand myself. I've felt so much better since beginning therapy with him, and when I do feel low, his words are always there in the back of my mind to pick me up. Well worth every penny spent. Thank you Ken for being such a deep listener and giving us the tools to both understand ourselves and to improve our minds and thoughts. You really are saving lives and you definitely saved me.
ANONYMOUS
Overcoming anxiety in their relationship.
Ken has helped me manage my anxiety and triggers, which in turn has allowed me to become more open while also setting boundaries. I am able to be more direct and introduce compromises in various situations. I no longer feel guilty asserting my needs and with Ken's guidance my life at work and at home has improved greatly!
ANONYMOUS
From feeling heartbroken to feeling at peace post breakup
Ken helped me through the most painful dating experience I've had - an abrupt heartbreak from someone with an avoidant attachment style. Ken helped me get perspective on the experience, helped me heal from it, and gave me tools and mechanisms to help me move forward. I have a firmer grasp on setting boundaries, identifying red flags and green ones too. I cannot recommend Ken enough - he gives compassionate, intelligent and pragmatic advice - Gay Man, 30s, Inner Sydney.
ANONYMOUS
From feeling anxious with their avoidant partner to choosing to walk away to protect their peace.
Hi Ken! Just wanted to send you a message. As you know I booked 2 sessions with you recently and I just wanted to let you know that they helped me a LOT! As you know I’ve been stuck when it comes to my love life for the past 3 years already. Dating someone on and off that has an avoidant attachment style. It was incredibly hard for me to look at my situation objectively. To look at it without my emotions consuming me, making it hard to think clearly.
Your sessions helped so much with that, as if I’m now better able to process what happened and able to make better decisions moving forward. I feel like I have so much clarity now and as if the things that were holding me back are slowly resolving. Just wanted to thank you for the amazing work you do!
JORDAN W
Overcoming his dating and relationship anxieties.
Ken has been extremely stellar and very helpful in my journey. He’s a great listener and he gives great support for what I'm going through
MAIA N
From dealing with a bad breakup to feeling like herself again.
Working with Ken has changed my life and really got me not just heal from a difficult relationship dynamic and breakup, but unexpectedly, my whole life, how I saw and lived it, and therefore how I freaking got here.
I had a lot of unhealed and moreover unrecognised trauma that Ken gently helped me see and work through. He has the ability to understand, explain and sum up my often jumbled thoughts, feelings and quite honestly, terribly explained experiences that made me feel understood and heard in a way that both healthily validated them and helped me internally let them go.
Ken’s ability to create an open, un-judgemental and sensitive space to be heard made it easier for me to speak previously unspoken thoughts, and that allowed me to heal so much more in me than I knew was there. And even what I wasn’t brave enough to admit before.
And personally, I am a bit shy when speaking about my feelings and wants and so additionally and unexpectedly through this work, I’ve become someone who can speak and name my own feelings and thoughts not just at all, but with so much more clarity and growing inner confidence and groundedness.
It’s easy to tell that Ken is not just well studied in this field but really excels at understanding it, and adds his own processed lived experiences to understand his clients. Yet he is also open minded, honest and humble and recognises his own potential biases as a gay white man, which is comforting for me as an Asian-Australian woman.
Super grateful to have found this absolute legend. And so stoked to see how he keeps growing! :)
ANONYMOUS
From feeling self-blame to being more self-compassionate after a breakup.
Speaking to Ken nearly a year after my relationship ended helped me to retrospectively make sense of my situation and gain a better understanding not only of my ex’s behaviour, but of my own reaction to the breakup. He is very compassionate and incredibly knowledgeable about avoidant-style behaviours. I found his perspective really valuable – I wish I had spoken to him sooner!
MICHAEL S
From continuous arguments with their partner to feeling more secure in their relationship.
My fiancé and I each did solo counseling sessions with Ken as well as a couple of counseling sessions. All of our sessions were so helpful. We left each session feeling super heard, seen, validated, and left with some new tools to put into practice that we didn’t have before the sessions. Our relationship has already improved thanks to Ken. My fiancé and are now able to communicate effectively even when we have a misunderstanding. Our disagreements don’t last very long anymore and it’s been really nice. Ken is so cool and down to earth. He’s got a great sense of humor while still being extremely respectful. He is very knowledgeable and always had a response for us when we brought him a problem we were having. I would recommend Ken to anyone. He’s great.
ANDREW G
From being anxious in relationships to creating a secure attachment.
Let me start by saying, I've been to counseling with many other counselors, psychologists, etc. From the very beginning, I felt very comfortable with Ken. I think what sets him apart is his ability to listen effectively and pick out what is relevant to why you feel the way you do. I've never had a counselor listen as effectively and help guide me in the right direction like he has. Over the course of 6 weeks of therapy, so far. Ken has helped me bring my anxiety to a much healthier, more manageable level. He has also helped guide me through my current relationship, which has flourished since beginning my counseling with him. My anxious attachment wounds will always be there, but with Ken's ongoing help, I see myself healing and being more confident in my abilities within my personal relationships. The one thing I promise, if you choose to start counseling with Ken, is that you are getting someone that cares about your situation and someone that will be able to help in one way or another. He has a gift that truly comes from the heart and I appreciate what he has done and continues to do to help me grow. Thanks, Ken for helping me become a better, stronger person within!
SETH B
Being overwhelmed from a recent breakup to overcoming heartbreak and being more at peace.
Ken helped me during a time when I felt nothing else was. He helped me understand, and process what I experienced in my relationship and breakup. I feel he really zeroed in on the areas I was truly struggling with. Through our sessions, book recommendations, and at-home exercises I really was able to get back to a good place. I highly recommend his services to anyone going through a tough time, especially pertaining to a difficult relationship.
LISA T
Working through a breakup and navigating her attachment challenges.
I contacted Ken for some private sessions after a sudden and painful breakup. I had been following him on Tik Tok and what he had to say really resonated with me. In our sessions, he provided me with the insight, support and understanding that I needed to help me move forward with my healing. During our sessions, I also had a couple AH HA realizations that will continue to help navigate me through the rest of my healing journey. I highly recommend Ken especially if you're struggling with Attachment issues between you and your partner or a breakup. He is kind, supportive, and very informative. Thank you, Ken!
CONNOR M
Learning how to navigate confusion and find his path.
Ken is a truly fantastic at what he does, he's a great listener and teacher. I came to him at a time where I was incredibly confused and couldn't make sense of a lot of how I was feeling, he really helped me to understand and validate the feelings that I was feeling. At no point did I feel judged only accepted and understood, he created a space that where I felt safe to really share my experiences and open up about how they impacted me. If it wasn't for Ken I know I wouldn't be in the position that I am today, I am finally on the healing path I wanted to be on and it is all thanks to Ken.
ART H
From feeling burned out to gaining clarity and focus in life.
Ken has been a great teacher, a mentor that appeared in my life at the right time. His simple yet very effective approach and goal-oriented tools helped me see situations in a clear way. He made some impossible dilemmas solvable. I never felt judged or out of place, Ken made me realize that coaching/therapy doesn't need to be intense or complicated, it just needs to be tailored to my specific needs. And that's what he did: tailored his approach to what my questions or issues were. I will take Ken's tools and lessons with me for the rest of my life.
BENSON A
From difficulties in dating to finding clarity and reassurance.
I am really happy with the support and coaching Ken provided me. He is patient, sensitive and very respectful, which I appreciate greatly in a coach. He is also intuitive and can strike a good balance between asking deep questions that encourage growth, without seeming intrusive. I would recommend him to anybody who is feeling lost in life, or at a crossroads. If you're feeling stuck in a particular situation, or can't seem to get out of a particular frame of mind, I think Ken is the best person to help you understand yourself and move on from there. I feel I am now in a better emotional situation thanks in a large part to his guidance. Thank you!
EMILIE B
Recovering from toxic relationships to establishing boundaries and relationships empowering herself.
Ken is an absolute gem. I stumbled across Ken on Instagram in the aftermath of a toxic relationship (to say the least). I had been seeing a psychologist for a lengthy period of time and while that had helped to some extent, I still felt stuck and like I still needed a lot of help in terms of releasing toxic narratives and rebuilding a sense of identity. Ken was able to help pull me from what I would say was an incredibly dark place, provide such a safe and welcoming place to help re-establish my values and essentially my sense of self. Ken is beyond empathetic; he has a special way to make sure you feel seen and heard and as a result really empowers you as a client. Ken really helped me move forward with a clear understanding of boundaries, a sense of confidence in communication and helped empower me to be able to have the confidence to implement these boundaries and ask for things in all walks of relationships.If you are hesitant about booking Ken in, I would say don’t be, it would be one of the best decisions you could make and the bonus on top is Ken is just an overall lovely human being.
REBEKAH R
From feeling disconnected with herself to trusting herself, setting boundaries with toxic family members and finding peace.
Thank you so much for all of the help and tools you have taught me while going though one the hardest times in my life. Without the support/ encouragement and tools you have given me, I would not be becoming the best version of myself and looking forwards to the new chapter ahead. I love how you allowed me the space to share/ how you supported/ encouraged/ validated me and also gave a safe space for me to come up with the answers to old wounds in my own time and didn’t try to tell me what is was/ should be, you allowed the space for these memories and thoughts to come up naturally so I could truly heal without putting words in my mouth. I was naturally able to learn the process of true healing from within. I am still working through this space today, but in a much better place and able to understand that I can look at situations and beliefs from a new perspective and truly stand back and ask the questions if they are really true, and come up with with the list of supporting/ un-supporting reasons behind each belief/situation. I am learning to validate myself and trust myself and my own decision-making process. I am learning to trust me (in my decision and beliefs)! And for this I truly thank you, as it is such a gift to be able to trust oneself.
ERIC F
From frustration in dating to attracting and creating a relationship that has honest communication.
I was single for two years and struggled in dating. There was this guy I like a lot but he also got me really anxious with his actions and words. I wanted Ken to teach me how I can win this guy over and build a lasting relationship with him. I feel so much better about myself and I also feel more in control of my date and how things are going with us. My overall happiness with my self-esteem has gone up as did my self-awareness. I am also now happily dating a guy that I like a lot and the feelings are mutual. Thanks to Ken, I am now happily dating a guy who potentially could be the one. Initially, I had so much fear and anxiety about dating this guy that I like a lot. But with Ken's help, I was able to identify my relationship blindspots and break my self-sabotaging patterns. He also taught me to ask constructive yet fun questions that create many positive memories with my date. After two months of coaching with Ken, I am so much more in control of my emotions and my date is responding very positively to me. Who knows, we may get together soon enough all thanks to Ken, Cupid in real life!
JOE W
Feeling confident to speak up for what his needs and wants are in dating.
Prior to a session with Ken, I felt like every interaction I had with a dating prospect left me with one of two extreme reactions: 1) either uninterested or 2) putting the other guy on a pedestal and feeling anxiously attached. During our session, Ken pointed out that it seemed that a big problem was that I was not trusting my true wants and clearly expressly them, and he helped me identify my specific patterns of behavior that needed to be worked on (and I don't think I would have realized what these principles in the abstract, I needed to have him applying the principles to my situation specifically). At first, I didn't quite understand how this would solve my problem, but I chose to put faith in his encouragement. Much to my delight and surprise, it turns out when you are clear about what you want and can communicate clearly, the vulnerability creates a vibe where the "boring" guys seem much more interesting and the "way too good" guys become more accessible! Ken is an enthusiastic, affirming coach, and I highly recommend working with him.
BRYAN C
From feeling anxiety and frustration in dating to feeling more confident and self-led.
Before working with Ken I was mostly faced with disappointment with inconsistent guys and the pain of guys who would “ghost” Sometimes what you need is an objective eye from someone who doesn’t really know you. You CAN go through this process of growth on your own through trial/error and reflection, but expert coaching is the shorter path. Thanks to Ken, I feel like I have a good branching approach to dating—that even if things aren’t going the way I would like, that I have a plan of action to move myself in one direction or another, instead of stewing in one place emotionally feeling like something that I can’t control has to happen.Ken helps you see where you are, where you want to go, who you are, who you want to be, and who you want to be with. You still have to do the work, but instead of the journey taking years on your own, you can get a lot done in 6-8 weeks with a guide. Choose how to spend your time and energy. If you feel stuck, and the gay dating world seems bleak, you can choose to change how you see it. Maybe it IS bleak where you are. But you’re still the one who chooses how to see it, how to respond to it, and whether or not to even engage with it. That’s the power Ken brings forth from you.
LADY P
From feeling abused by their family to feeling relief and having an action plan to find peace for themselves.
I've been battling with abusive parents for close to 3 decades. It wasn't until the last 3 years that I actively started to detach from their behavior, and made it a point to choose the person I wanted to be. My self-love journey of 3 years has been a tough and hard one but I'm proud of how far I've come. I knew the next step in my journey was to talk to an expert on Emotional Health. I've been friends with Ken for over a year now and as I watched one of his stories on his own abusive home situation, it resonated so well with me. I felt safe knowing that I could open up to him and he would actually understand. After debating for a month, I reached out to him and we booked a call. For 1.5 hours, Ken listened to me talk about my home situation, my fears, my doubts, and my anxieties. He was very patient and made me safe and secure. For the first time in my life, I felt relief. Relief that someone actually understood where I was coming from, and my innermost fears. He helped me analyze some behavior patterns that resulted from the constant exposure to toxicity in my home, and helped me figure out ways to slowly overcome them. It's been a few days since that call, but I can't tell you how light my heart feels. I've been carrying this burden for a very long time, and it feels like I have a weight off my shoulders. I feel hopeful of overcoming my situation and being open to love & relationships someday, and just 1.5 hours with Ken gave me renewed strength.If you're hesitant about what Ken can do for your emotional health, I'm telling you to go for it! I too was super scared to open up to anyone, let alone a professional licensed therapist like Ken! He made me feel super comfortable and was very respectful of my experiences. He was very insightful and gave me actionable advice that I have started implementing. I 1000% recommend Ken! Ken, thank you once again. It's so powerful to see someone who's been through almost the same experiences as I have, and come out so strong. You absolutely inspire me. The lightness I feel in my heart and head is so new to me and is something I'm so grateful to you for. I always felt I was alone in the world, dealing with this, but you made me realize that there are tons of other people who have been through similar situations and overcome them, and who now lead emotionally healthy lives. Thank you for showing me that I can get to where I've been working so hard to get to. I will be reaching out to you at some point to help me further. Until then, I'll continue working on myself as we discussed. You are awesome, Ken! Kudos to you, your strength, your knowledge, and your ability to transform lives!
*Client Name has been REMOVED for Confidentiality*
Disclaimer: My clients were asked for permission to speak about their experiences and shared what they wanted to whilst also asking me to respect their privacy where they deemed it necessary. Any client who wanted to provide feedback whilst also remaining anonymous has had their anonymity and privacy respected. Whilst I ask my clients for testimonials where possible, I do not make them mandatory for those that don't want to do them.